Here’s How Long You Should Wait to Text After a First Date, According to Research
· Vice
Blame Vince Vaughn for the three-day rule. A guy in a 1996 indie movie convinced an entire generation that waiting to call made you look cool, and people have spent the decades since staring at their phones on day two, wondering if 36 hours is technically enough.
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The rule was made for a great scene, but no one had actually tested whether it worked. Now they have. A new study looked at what happens when someone texts after a good first date, and Swingers might have overshot the ideal wait by about two and a half days.
Researchers gave hundreds of people the same scenario: They’d had a pleasant first date at an Italian restaurant, and afterward they got a text. The only thing that changed was when they received it.
Texting immediately wasn’t a disaster, although both men and women thought the person seemed a little needy. Waiting until the next morning was the sweet spot, especially among women. After two days, things went downhill pretty quickly. People assumed the texter wasn’t interested in them, and in turn, they lost interest too.
Waiting 3 Days to Text After a Date Could Actually Hurt Your Chances
The researchers had already asked people when they thought a post-date text should arrive. The average answer was about six hours later. Individual answers were all over the place, because dating would be way too easy if everyone happened to agree on one normal way to behave.
Women cared more about the timing than men. Their interest peaked around the next morning and dropped after that. Men were more forgiving of the immediate text and rated it about as favorably as the next-morning one. But after two days, their interest dropped too.
In other words, spending 48 hours pretending you were “busy” probably isn’t creating much mystery.
Dating experts have been telling people the “three-day rule” is bunk for years. “Most people will text within a few hours of arriving home and thank their date,” matchmaker Susan Trombetti told Best Life. Amber Lee, co-founder of Select Date Society, was even less patient with the waiting game: Once you pass 48 hours, she said, “you’ve waited too long.”
The study didn’t get into what you’re supposed to write, so unfortunately there’s no hand-holding on that one. But if you had a good time, a simple “thanks for a great night” is perfect. And if you want to see them again, say so.
The post Here’s How Long You Should Wait to Text After a First Date, According to Research appeared first on VICE.